I like to get to the airport early. So, by the time we were supposed to board our flight to Europe we had already had a couple of beers and some nachos (Sure there was a bit of glass in my Sam Adams, but, hey, it’s Newark.), read some magazines, done some crosswords. I literally said to my husband, “Wow, I know it’s an airport, but it’s kind of relaxing just sitting here, reading, waiting for our flight.”
That was the cue. At that point a cop appeared. Not a TSA guy or a Rent-a-Cop. A real cop. You can tell a real cop in the North East because they have that Public Service Moustache. And this real cop tells us to get all of our things and head back towards security.
So we do, and when we (and all of the other passengers) linger, thinking, “No, certainly he won’t make us go to the other side of security? No, please! We don’t want to go through security again!” the cop yells, “No! All the way through! All the way through! Past security!” So we keep marching.
As we past the TSA guy my husband asks him if he knows what’s going on. He answers, “I do. And all YOU need to know is that you’re going to want to get as far away from here as possible!”
To me this means 1) keep walking 2) hail a cab before the other suckers catch on and 3) drive away as Newark airport goes up in flames. Instead, everyone seems content to pause outside of the entrance to B Gate. By the Hudson News. So we join them.
And join them. Eventually my fear that we are under attack wanes (although I keep trying to locate an elevator shaft, just in case) and I begin to worry about missing our connecting flight. After two hours our flight, and our flight alone, is ushered into the gate area and boarded. We fly to Lisbon where we made our flight. But we never got an explanation about this strange delay. Until…
My mother gets on the internet. It would seem that a member of an Indian film crew for a movie called “Jehaad” (really?) thought it would be a good idea to pack his checked luggage full of the PROP BOMBS that they were using in the movie and NOT TELL ANYONE at the airport.
I knew this had the stink of the theatre on it.
So, my advice and my plea to you, the traveling public, is please – if you must travel with the facsimile of weapons that the terrorists in your movie use to kill Americans, can you please, please, please tell someone BEFORE you get on the plane? Is it too much to ask? Something like “Hey, baggage check lady? While you’re examining my passport, I should probably mention that my bag is full of fake explosives. Might want to put some sort of special tag on that!”
I would really appreciate it.